Just not right...

I dont even know how to explain things right now except they are just not right....
I have been having a horrible time with things lately and I cant seem to get over stuff. I have been very angry lately. Not only with normal stuff but I just cant seem to get over losing the baby. I have really tried to not be jelous of ALL my friends who are pregnant and who have just had babies and I seem to do well with it most of the time but I do not seem to be able to completely get over this. I am glad that I have not have had to many depressed moments but the angry and jelous moments are the ones that are killing me. I feel bad about the way I feel. I think I am going to try and get into some counselling from work. Hopefully that will help me out with this. I do feel better now that I am able to write this all down and get it out.

I have other issues to deal with as well. Andy has been really terrible lately. I swear he thinks that I am his maid. He has not been helpful around the house at all recently. When I have talked with him about he helps for the day and then he goes right back to the same crap. I finally got really mad at him this past weekend and told him how I felt again. Of course he was a bit more helpful, but he makes a huge show of it. He thinks that since I get home earlier than him I should be fine with picking up his messes, doing his dishes, laundry and cooking his food. All he has been doing is coming home, eating, playing on his dang computer and then going to the garage to work out. MOstly he is playing on the computer whish is really annoying since he is hooked on some stupid computer game for a 8 year old. I just said screw it and he is sleeping in the spare room. I have had enough of the talking till I am blue in the face, now I will just let him stay in the spare room till I am not irriatated anymore. Who knows how long that will be though since I didnt speak to him all weekend until late last night and was just barely, and he messed up again this morning. It was really stupid too... I had some cash in my wallet and he took it without asking like he always does, and then he denied it. He was the only one who could have done it so why lie about it?? I would have given him the money anyways if he had just asked but of course he has to be all shady about it. Its stupid and I am sick of his childishness as well.

OK well I feel somewhat better now that I have written everything down. I will talk to you again soon.

Life goes on.....

Well this last month has not gone well for us.... We ended up losing our baby..... There was something wrong from the beginning which I knew...it just took the doctors forever to figure it out. Anyways, its been a rough time for us but we are doing ok now. Well I am anyways... I keep trying to tell myself it happened for a reason but I am still jelous when I see all my friends having babies or getting pregnant. I am trying really hard to get over that, but it is difficult for me. Well thats all I have to say right now I guess, I know its shocking right :o)

7 weeks

Well this weekend we officially hit the 7 week mark, or so they say....
Things have been sooo hectic lately its not even funny! Work has sucked since so many people have been on vacation and out sick. It has really taken a tole on me and my body, I am super tired. Today was the first day I actually threw up. It was terrible! I have been sick the entire time but today I couldnt handle it and I barfed my guts out before I left for work. I was sick all morning. I got home kinda early and I tried to take a nap but of course that didnt work out for me, so now I am on here trying to think of something to make for dinner and edging closer and closer to take out as the hours tick by....
Did get some interesting news yesterday though.. Andy's sister is also pregnant. She is 14 weeks and just now chose to tell us. Who knows why, I am sure she had something dramatic planned like waiting till she had the kid before telling us it was theirs, but who knows.
Anyways, we are still super duper excited for this baby and I pray to god the next 7 months hurrys up!
Oh I almost forgot!! Our friends had their baby girl yesterday! They named her Anna and she is just sooo cute! I cant wait to go see her, maybe this weekend.
Ok well time to go, SO just texted to say he has to go to Seattle tonight so its just us girls for dinner, I think I will get Chinese.....

A little dissapointed.....

Well today was my first apt with the nurse and I am not very happy. The nurse wanted me to have an ultrasound so she was able to get me in right away and they didnt see ANYTHING. Well I guess the saw the "sac" but that was it. The u/s tech seems to think that I am just at 5 weeks. I know this is not possible since I know the few times exactly that we were "together". Anyways, they checked my blood level and said that they will have the results back in a couple of days and not to worry or stress, yea right!! She said they were not worried at all because the "sac" was perfect looking and everything else was normal. It is just so discouraging to see the little sac with nothing there....
I did talk with a couple of nurse friends who said that it is completely normal to not see anything at 5 weeks and that if I had lost the baby then my pregnancy symptoms should have gone away. I guess its a good thing I was still sick as hell this morning and my ta ta's hurt like nobodys business, at least thats a good sign. I felt sooo bad though, Andy came with me and it really sucked for him tobe so excited and then be let down. I dont want to talk about it either, so I guess we will just wait for a couple of days and see if my blood test results show all is ok.

God I hope so.....

Another day

Well today has gone by soooo slowly it seems. I am a nervous wreck right now. The last two days I have been so sick its not even funny, then today I feel wonderful. Not one problem. I have not even been as hungry today as I usually am. Now it has me thinking something is wrong. Not that I already didnt have that problem, but now I am super stressed. I just cant help it! I try everyday to think positive and not worry but I cant. I pray every second I think about it that this baby will stick and we will hear the heart beat and everything with this pregnancy will be fine. I just cant wait till Monday, I think I am going to go insane! Its all I can think about! I am so far behind on my charting for work its not even funny! I was going to work on it tonight but I had to do a transfer on my computer which I started about an hour ago and it is still not even half way finished. Thats what I get for waiting all week, now there is a ton of updates. I am sure my boss will call me tomorrow and yell at me about it but I dont care.
Ok well I should go since I have to get online and fill out my paper work for my OB apt. on Thursday. I will talk to you soon.

6 weeks today

Well I have hit the 6 week mark and so far so good. Besides for the horrible morning sickness that I have been experiencing the last few days I am ok. I have been tired but thats mostly my fault since I have been napping during the day when I get home from work and then staying up late at night, I cant sleep. I have been going for walks with Julie the last could of nights, we are going to do it until we cant anymore so we can try and lose weight for her and keep in shape for me. It has been making me feel better though and I like that.
I did call and make another dr. apt for Monday next week. I cant stand it any longer, and I want to try and get a ultrasound. If I can get one next week and then one again in two weeks when I am actually 8 weeks I will feel sooooo much better! At least I can be reasured.
In other news I was really pissy today. We have been working on bringing our credit score up by 24 points so we can get a better rate on the house we plan on buying and so we have been making sure everything has gotten paid on time for the last 3 months, so the agent we are working with said 3 weeks ago that they would pull the report again "in a couple weeks" and see how it was looking.....well we have heard nothing! I made Andy call today and he had to leave a message and it was never returned. I knwo this is silly but these people were calling us everyday a month ago, and now nothing! I am just anxious and I really want to get on the ball with this. We have to be out of this house by February and there is NO WAY I can move then, I will be huge! I want to find out if we get the house so we can close on it by December 1st and get the tax credit but also so we can start talking to the landlord about moving out sooner than February due to the circumstances. GRRRR! This is all so frustrating! I just hope they will call tomorrow with some good news.
Ok well I gotta run, the kid is in the tub, I am tired, and I am getting grumpier by the minute :o) Talk to you soon!

5 weeks

Well I am officially 5 weeks along now. I am just praying everthing will be ok with this pregnancy. I am one of those paranoid people who worry terribly about every little thing. Right now I am just worried that since we told everybody something bad will happen. I keep trying to busy myself with planning and not thinking about bad things only good. In fact today I just realized how busy the next 9 months are going to be. Not only will I be pregnant, but I will be super busy and stressed trying to plan our wedding! Its going to be very hectic lol. I am glad though because I will be able to be busy and not thinking the worst all the time. I have been trying to busy myself with looking up all the new kinds of baby gear online. Its changed so much in the 4 years since Riley its not even funny! At least this time we are financially able to purchase things, I guess we were before but not new things, and not a lot. This baby is actually going to have its own room and I am actually going to get to decorate it. I am very excited for this, poor Riley didnt get but a small cubby. I think we will also purchase a new bedroom set for Riley as well and redo her room so she doesnt feel left out. She is very excited for the baby though and I know she will want to help. Ok well now that I have rambled on and on I am going to sign off and take a shower. I am feeling a bit hungry so I should prolly have a snack as well :o) Talk to you soon!

Morning....

Notice how I didnt say goodmorning? Thats because its not. I am pretty sure this baby is trying to kill me already. I have some sort of summer cold that is making me feel like crap, and I woke up at 6 am, wide awake at that. I am pretty sure I was starving to death so I had to get up and get something to eat. God this baby better be a boy since he/she is already causing all of this. Riley didnt even give me this much trouble..... Oh well, its all a process I know. Ok well I am of to eat my giant salad, and cough so hard I will throw up or pee my pants.... Talk to you later.

Thank God it Friday!

Man I am so glad it is Friday! I didnt think I would even be able to make it through this week I have been soooo tired. I didnt do to much today, went shopping and bought Riley a couple things for next year at the outlet (after work of course). They have such good sales on stuff when its out of season. I also did the big no no and bought the "bean" a little something. I couldnt resist. I am terrible I know.

I felt pretty good today, has some wonderful heartburn but I have a feeling that will be sticking around for awhile. I also seem to have developed a small cough, well I guess its a big cough since it about makes me pee my pants everytime it happens but whatever.

Oh anyways, the main point of this post..... We decided to tell my parents about the "bean" and so I went on a quest today for some tshirts or something that said "big sister" on it. I had about given up when I saw some at Carters. So we bought 2 shirts that proclaim "Big Sister" loud and proud on them and tonight we lined Riley up with her new outfits on including those shirts in a random order and sent them off to my parents. We will see if they pay attention enough to them to see the shirt. I am expecting a call anytime now lol. Well maybe tomorrow since they are still in the stone age with dial up connection and both of them have a hard time working the computer. Could be after the baby is born before they see the photos lol. Well I will attatch them below so you can see. Its pretty original let me tell ya ;o)

Oh dad just called, they caught on right away ;oP

Suprise!

Well I figured out why I have not been feeling well the last couple of weeks....

Yup thats right... pregnant! Boy was I suprised! Our lives had been so busy lately we barely had time so see each other let alone baby dance lol. I wasnt even suspecting anything either but I took a test just for the heck of it and we are on our way to becoming a family of 4! We are both very excited! Now if we could just get the house, move, get all the wedding stuff and baby stuff taken care of before this little bean makes and entrance that would be great!

I know I know, it has been forever!

I have been pretty bad about getting on here lately..... I mean my last post was in April? Wtf? 3 months ago...jeez... Anyways, I am back on here now and I promise to keep in touch. I will need this piece of sanity in the months to come...TRUST ME :o)

Ok, so things are going well here. My honey and I were having some troubles, but that is all worked out now so we are great! The kid is doing great as well, she is loving her daycare and has met a bunch of new friends. She is also loving the hot weather and the fact that we bought a very large pool to swim in. I was not very happy about the pool idea but then we started to get the 90 degree weather, and the last couple fo days have been 100+! I have been dieing, let me tell ya.

My job is going well, I still love it! Its really a great commpany to work for and I thank my lucky stars everyday that I got this job.

Andys job has slowed down a bit, he was getting kids in right and left because of the economy, but this month has not been to good. I think they barely made goal this month. Its ok though, the NAVY is pretty much full for 2009 and 2010. I wonder what they will do when it is all the way full? Stop accepting people??

This summer has proved very nice so far here, we were very fortunate to meet our neighbors across the street when their weiner dog Chi Chi bounded into the yard. I had noticed their license plates were from Spokane but I didnt know if maybe they had just purchased the vehicle from there or something....Anyways, Julie and he daughter Kayla, sons, Sam and Jake, and dog Chi Chi are now a part of the family. Julie and I just clicked and we hang out almost every night, we still have not run out of anything to talk about. Lol, its pretty funny. We have been trading dinner nights, swimming in the pool, and BBQing like there is no tomorrow. It is really nice to finally have someone to hang out with.

I have also met some awesome girls at work who I hang out with a bit. Only one of them has children but they are all really great.

Anyways, I should run, I am waiting for a transfer on my computer so I can go to work. I am really hoping it hurries since it is supposed to be hot again today and the A/C in my truck is out right now. I just have not had time to get my truck into the shop since I have been working so much. Ok so I will talk to you soon!

Meet Rex

This is Rex.

We just adopted him from a Labrador Rescue in Yakima WA. Not only do I want to encourage everyone who is thinking of getting a pet to look into the pound, or rescues, but I want to make you aware of what a great thing you could do by donating your time, or even a small amount to your local rescue or shelter. This is Rex's story-

Rex was purchased from a breeder by a very wealthy family, they had just built a large new home, their dream home, and they wanted the "All American Dream" of having a lab playing with their kids in the front yard. While Rex was growing up he learned to scratch on the door when he had to go outside to potty. This of course was a good thing, but Rex's family got mad at him for marking up their door. They thought they would solve the problem and took Rex to the vet and had all of his front claws removed. This is a VERY painful procedure for dogs, and most veterinarians will not perform it on dogs. Rex recovered well and was a good boy, but his family decided they didn't want him to live with them anymore so they took him to Second Chance Lab Rescue in Yakima. They played with Rex and taught him some tricks, and eventually found him a new home. Unfortunately Rex went home with his new mommy and chased her chickens, she was warned that he was a "bird" dog but she thought she could fix him, when she couldn't she returned him to the rescue. Rex stayed their with Dana and her Husband for awhile and then he went home with another couple. He thought for sure he had found his new home, but yet again he had to be returned to the rescue when his mommy and daddy got a divorce and neither one wanted to keep him....

Our family had decided to look for a new family member and we knew we wanted a Lab. We also knew we would rather rescue a dog instead of "buy" one. I started searching around and came across Second Chance in Yakima, we saw Rex's picture and we fell in love. So I drove over to Yakima to meet him. As soon as I saw Rex he jumped up on the fence and barked, almost to say "Please take me home" my heart melted and I knew he was going to be our new baby. So I paid the $50 adoption fee, which goes right back into the rescue to help for medical bills, or food, or whatever the dogs need, (Second Chance is a non profit organization) and I loaded Rex up in the car. I thought maybe he would jump around a bit in the back but he laid down in the back seat and let out a sigh and went to sleep. He was just a perfect gentleman in the car. He was also wonderful and friendly when he met the other 3 dogs and Riley. Rex knows how to sit, shake, sit up, roll over, he is already fixed, house trained, doesn't bark, dig, or chew, and he is good on the leash. He is also neutered. What more could you ask for?

Rex has only been with us a few days but already he fits right in. He is the biggest baby I have ever met. He has not had 1 accident since we have had him and he has displayed no bad habits. He is just full of loves. He is the perfect dog in every way. He even sleeps on the floor next to my bed. As I type this Andy is on the floor scratching Rex, who is enjoying the intention immensely and is responding by making small puppy growl/whimpers which are complete contentment and harbor no grumpiness at all. He is simply happy. Rex has found his forever home, there is no way we will give up this perfect animal. He is now a part of our family and he is greatly loved.

So now that you know his story I really do encourage you to look into rescues and shelters before you go out and get a puppy. Older dogs are usually trained quite well, and they need a break, a family to love, and a family to love them. Look at us, we got a purebred lab who is fully trained and already fixed for a minimal fee, a fee less than what it would cost to have a puppy spayed or neutered, and a fee that I am more than happy to pay because it goes to save other dogs just like Rex.

Anyways, I will keep you updated on the family, stay tuned :o)

70 degree weather and a sinus infection

So its official, I am sick :o( I knew it was going to be a bad one, but I ended up calling in sick to work today and I am officially part of the ill crew at work. They all gave me their nasty sinus infection/ upper respiratory junk. I am ever so thankful of course :o) Oh well, I got some antibiotics coming. I really do hate going to the doctor though... There I am sick as &^%$ and they tell me to get there 30 min early, so I do... only to have to wait 1 hr to get into my apt, and then another 40 min to see the Dr. Then I had to go home and have the Dr. call in the script and I sent my fiance out to get it (after I called to make sure he could pick it up) he gets there and is told that he has to wait another 30 min to fill the script!! Its been an all day thing, and not a pleasant one at that.

On the better side, at least I will have the meds and be feeling better soon, or at least I hope. I also decided to take my IUD out, which they did today. We have wanted to try for a baby for awhile, and we did last year, but then we stopped because of the wedding, now that we have another year, I figure why not?? So here we go again. However, this time I am not going to tell DH right away. Last time I did and he thought that meant it was a sex party everyday and he literally wore me out and made me detest the idea of TTC. SO this time I am going to let it go for awhile, he will figure it out soon enough since AF will be back, but until then at least I will be able to crawl into bed without him trying to attack me :o)

Well I better go, I hear DH and the kiddo in the garage, so my quiet time is gone. I will talk to you again soon though!

It sure has been awhile

Well I guess I have to appologize for the delay in writing... I have been so busy lately! I started working the end of February with Hospice and I absolutly LOVE it! I am so fortunate to have a job in these terrible times, but I am even more fortunate to have a job that I love.
Anyways, it has been really nice being able to pay the bills and have money left over. Riley has started daycare and she really enjoys that as well. They teach all the 3 year olds preschool stuff too which is really great. She has fun with other kids and she learns so much everyday. I could not have found a better daycare for her to attend.

It is almost spring here, I say almost because it still cant decide if it wants to rain or snow lol. Yesterday was very sunny, we went to the ocean with my parents. They came over for a visit this weekend. The day was just perfect! Today has been very nice as well. Right now the thermometer says 59 degrees, and it is very sunny and bright. I am sure we will hit 60. I just hope the rest of the days this week will be nice. It has been raining and snowing off and on for the last 2 months.

I guess the only other news is that we decided to postpone the wedding until next year. So many things have been going on with the family, and illness, and our personal lives that it just became to much. I was anti wedding and couldnt even seem to get in the mood to do anything wedding related. So I talked with the photographer and the venue and we are setting the date for August 28th, 2010. I am already less stressed and looking foward to dress shopping and picking out invites and stuff like that. I will keep you posted. We have already made some big changes to our wedding plans that are sure to be fun.

Ok well I am going to sign off for now. I am battling a serious cold right now and I need a nap. Hopefully I can kick it enough to feel better tomorrow for work, I dont want to call in sick tomorrow. Talk to you later!

Wow! Its been busy here!

Soo... we are moved! We ended up packing everything up on Friday instead of Sunday because Andy couldnt get today off. I was really sick the entire time and in all kinds of pain, but I survived. I am just so sick of being sick. I have that appointment this Friday so hopefully the Dr. can figure out why I am still feeling nasty. On the good side of things I am really happy to be in the new house. It is so much nicer here! I have a place for all my dishes and pots and pans and then tons of room left over, thats so nice! Its also a lot warmer at this house. Its really nice to have insulation lol. Anyways, I am so super happy its not even funny!

We got our incomce tax back so I was able to find and purchase a really cute day bed with a trundle for Riley, and I also got her new "big girl" princess bedding. Gotta love Craigslist, the bed, mattress, and trundle only cost me $50 whoo hoo! Riley loves having a bigger bed, and it really makes me happy to see her happy. I also snagged up a really nice wooden frame and queen mattress set for $100. It is perfect in our spare room. Now our friends and family have no reason not to come and visit. I cant wait to have company come and visit :o) Here is a couple photos of the new house. Enjoy :o)

My new Fab kitchen

View from outsideRiley in the tub

Rub a dub dub Riley in the tub

The kids enjoying the fireplace

Missed a couple days

Well Tuesday was my birthday. I had a nice day. I just relaxed all day. Andy got me a very nice Roxy coat, I was really excited! My sister sent me some socks that I really wanted as well. I was really excited about my socks lol. Anyways I was so tired after that I totaly forgot to post on here, but I have pictures for all three days for ya!
Yesterday was a good day as well, I had a job interview and then the neighbors came over and hung out for a bit. I had a lot of fun hanging out, it was nice to talk with an adult for a change.
I was going to jump on here after they left but the stupid internet provider was out there unhooking the neighbors internet since they moved and accidently unhooked mine! I tried to run out there and tell the kid but he jumped off the pole and took off. So then I had to call Comcast, and be put on hold forever and when I finally got to talk to a real person I explained what had happend and the idiot told me "they couldnt be sure if it was their fault, it may be a problem with the lines in my house" RIGHT... I stayed calm for as long as possible, but when the jerk told me they were going to charge me a fee of $20 to come out THE NEXT DAY I lost it. To make a long story short my neighbor used to work for Comcast and he called up a friend and they sent the tech right back out to fix it. The poor kid came and appologized, I wasnt mad at him, just the jerk on the phone. Anyways it was fixed but it was late and I had to rush to get dinner on so I didnt get a chance to get back on here. Anyways... here are the photos for you :o)

My new Birthday coat





Birthday girl

My goofy child


Oh and I almost forgot! WE GOT THE HOUSE!!!! The guy mailed me yesterday and said the sale did not go through so we could have the house if we wanted it! I was soooooo excited! So now its going to be a mad rush. I have the surgery Monday, and starting with today I have to find a moving truck, shut off our utilities here and get them switched to the new house, change our address, start packing... Its crazy! we have just a little over a week to do this! I am already worried...

Jeeez...

Well its Monday.... and we know nothing. We went to look at the house and of course it is beautiful. Of course there was a glitch like I knew there was going to be, and now we have to wait till tomorrow or Wed. before we know if we can move to the house because the other person interested was interested in buying it and Tom (landlord) would rather sell it that deal with renting it. He said he is unsure about how interested they are, but he promised them 24 hours to think about it and let him know. They were coming later this afternoon to take a look. I guess if it was meant to be it will be, but I knew something was going to stop us. Oh well. I am trying to keep a positive attitude, but it seems like there is always something. I will keep you updated.

Today is the day

And I am up friggin early! I am not happy about it either. This whole kidney thing makes it hard enough for me to sleep, and of course no one cares about that, so thats why my fiance didnt turn his 6am alarm off. Of course I am the only one it wakes up! He could sleep through anything. So now its after 7 and I have been awake for over an hour and I am pissed. I could have slept at least 2 more hours, but once I am awake I am awake. Damn.

Sunday Fun

Well today was supposed to be a lazy day, but we ended up going grocery shopping and doing a few things around the house. I still have to give all 3 dogs a bath, but we cleaned the rabbit cages and did some other minor household cleaning. Now we have a full fridge and freezer which is nice.

Riley was bored again today so I looked online for something to do and boy did we find it! We made GAK! This recipe is soooo easy, and it has kept my very busy 3 year old enthralled for the last 2 hours. So here is the pics of the day, and I will post the recipe for the GAK as well.

Of course Mommy had way to much fun as well!

Here is the recipe-GAK RECIPE
Materials: 2 containers - empty margarine tubs work well measuring cup marked in ounces hot water stirring spoon 1 container Elmer's white glue - 4 oz size is fine 1 small box Borax Booster (20 Mule Team Borax - get the smallest box you can find) tap water 1 marker pen

Directions: Label each of the 2 containers, one A and the other B. Measure 2 ounces (1/4 cup) of the tap water and pour into container A. Measure 2 ounces (1/4 cup) of the Elmer's glue and add to the water in container A. Stir the contents of container A thoroughly for at least one minute, then set aside. Measure 16 ounces (2 cups) of hot water and pour into container B. Measure 1 ounce (1/8 cup) of the Borax and add to the water in container B. Stir the contents of container B until thoroughly dissolved and set aside for 2 minutes. Measure 2 ounces (1/4 cup) of the dissolved Borax solution from container B. Pour the measured amount into container A and IMMEDIATELY begin stirring. Stir until the mix turns into a well mixed glob of gooey stuff. The "GAK" will be white. It can be colored with food coloring to a semi flesh color by using approximately 8 drops of yellow, 6 drops of red and 2 drops of green. Or experiment and find the color you like best. Keep any unused GAK stored in a closed container.

You can also use Elmers School Glue, I actually liked it better than the regular glue, and it is a lot cheaper. You can make 2 batches of GAK with one bottle of glue. The water/Borax mixture can make 5 or 6 batches. If the mixture seems watery keep stirring until the water is absorbed. If you want it colored add a few drops of food coloring to the glue/ water mixture before adding the Borax. Make sure to mix it well.

**** Borax is toxic, so dont let your kidds put this stuff in their mouth.

*** Food coloring does rub off a bit until the GAK is well played with, so make sure kids have on "play" clothes.Enjoy all!!

Update

Ok, ok I know I promised no more about the house till Monday, but I had to write once I found out...
Now there really is nothing in our way of getting the house unless the landlord pulls something weird. Andy did his taxes tonight and we were very pleased to discover that he will be getting almost $2600 back this year! Yes! We were thinking he would get a bit more than last years $1300, but we had no idea it would be that much!! Now all we have to do it wait for it to hit the bank account. We were a bit worried about how were were going to come up with the 1st and last payment of $900 each the guy wanted for move in. We had a way figured out, it would have worked fine but it would have left us pretty broke. Now we have plenty left over for Andy to fix his car, and maybe, just maybe buy a few things for the house (like the new bathroom set) that we will need. I am just so happy and excited I can hardly stand it! All I can do now is wait, and pray that we are the first people to look at this house, the guy already said the first people to hand him the $300 deposit took the house.... Ok well thats enough for now, I just had to tell somone and being that it is after 1am here this was my only choice.

Cant wait for Monday....

Yeay! Its sad to say but I am glad the weekend is half over! I am just sooo excited for Monday and to see the house. I am almost crawling out of my skin! I am just going to hope we are the first people to see the place so we can say Yes! We want it!! Its killing me not knowing and waiting.... Grrr.... I have found myself browsing the local CL for bargains on dressers, a twin bed set for Riley, and a new queen set for the spare room... I know we don't have the house yet, but it doesn't hurt to look right?? Its a good thing we know people with trucks so we can pick up stuff like that. CL is such a bargain, and anyone who knows me knows I am a HUGE bargain hunter. In fact one of my latest scores is a couple of cashmere scarves/shawls for less than $15 together! They are brand new of course, we will see the quality when they get here though. I bought them from two different places to check the difference if any in quality and softness. I am thinking of purchasing more of the scarves for my attendants in the wedding as gifts, but only if they are top of the line. Of course I will post photos and my reviews of them when they are received.

Anyways.... I find myself actually looking forward to working, especially if we get the house.

OK well enough about the house, I will try and contain myself until Monday and not write anymore, but I cant promise anything. So here is the pic of the day. Again it is my daughter Riley and her bunny Dora. You see Riley is very spoiled and she asks and she gets lol, in this case we may have jumped in head first instead of feet first... The bunnies are fun, and yes I said bunnies. Of course my fiance and I could not agree on which one and he refused to give up so we ended up with two! Anyways, the little buggers are pretty low maintenance and they don't smell unless you really neglect them, but I have figured out it is just another thing for mommy to take care of, and I have enough on my plate as it is. Who knows what the future will hold, but we may be downsizing or eliminating the bunnies in the near future. Don't worry though, I will make sure they get super great homes if we decide to go that route.

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Lousy IRS

Well I got my one and only W2 form last night and of course I jumped right online and onto Turbo Tax to see what the damage was going to be. I already knew I was going to owe. In fact last year right as they sent me my check they sent an IRS letter saying that they accidentally over paid me 2 years ago and now I had to pay back $1300! I was sooo angry! Of course I would have paid it right away if I had any of my money left. Unfortunately due to loss of work I had tons of behind bills and the need for a new bed. I actually did not get the owing letter until 2 weeks after I received my check so I was SOL. So now I know they are going to take my return this year, and since I did not work very often this year I got less this year. Funny thing is, after I pay the IRS back and the fee for e-filing I should get $5 back! Ha ha to funny.
The thing that makes me the maddest is the fact that THEY messed up, not me! Now I have to pay them back! Whatever, at least it will be taken care of this year and hopefully next year I will get back everything. Anyways, I was a bit pissy over it so I had to blog it out of course. I will jump back on here later and post the photo of the day.

TGIF

Well Thank God Its Friday! I am so glad this week is almost over. I just hope next week is better not worse. I still feel kinda yucky today, but at least I am not in a fog because of drugs. I have decided not to take anymore of the Percocets. They make me sluggish and very sick to my stomach. I was at least able to get up this morning and function I.E Take a shower lol. I was even able to call around to find the best price on moving truck rentals (incase we get the house) I just want to be prepared. Anyways, here is my photo for the day. It is me and my wonderful daughter Riley. Everyone says we look like twins, I usualy dont think so, but this pictures really does make us look related :o)

My little Princess

My daughter Riley finally discovered the play trunk with the dress up dresses her grandma bought her for Christmas. Here are some photos I snapped of her tonight while she was modeling them.

She is so darn cute it kills me! She always knows how to make me smile even when I feel nasty. I couldn't help but giggle when she cam running out of her room all dressed up. She even lifted up her dress and announced " See I got matching shoes momma!" It was adorable!
I realized when I uploaded this that she has a bit of boogies showing but she still looks so friggin cute I had to post it! She also has food on her face, but that's another story.

I was even more surprised when she came running out of her room over 2 hours later like this. That is some shade of blue makeup lol. She was so proud of herself she could hardly stand it. We immediately had to send a photo via picture message to Aunt Emily. She is such a ham!

Wedding Day Survival Kit

Ok well I feel a bit better tonight, so I figured I would post a couple pics of the kit Lorie mailed to me. It has everything in it a Bride will need.

Here is a list-

1. A sewing kit- for quick fixes

2. Fashion tape- fix a hem or keep the dress in place

3. Shout wipes- quick stain removal

4. Chalk- get rid of grass stains for outdoor pictures

5. Antacid- fix that sour stomach right away

6. Tylenol- for a headache

7. Hairspray and bobby pins- keeps every strand in place

8. Tissues- wipe away tears of happiness

9. Eye drops- keeps eyes clear

10. Clear deodorant- Keeps you smelling fresh and clean

11. Mints- fresh breath for your first husbadn and wife kiss

12. Bandaids- makes those blister bearable

13. Nail file- fixes rough edges

14. Tampons- for your girls (hopefully)

15. Straws- so you dont spill your drink on your dress

What about today?

Well today is not to much better. I still feel like crap. I have been laying down all day and I still feel the need to vomit. I just wish this sick feeling would go away so I can manage my day. Oh and the worst thing today?? The friggin tv and dvd player wont work! All I want to do is be a bum today and I cant because not only is the stupid tv not working, but Riley is bored and driving me nutz! I finally went to the room and turned on a movie for her so I could lay in bed, but of course she wasnt tired and wanted to play. So here I am again...

A highlight of the day was getting the mail. Lorie, (the owner of my wedding venue) sent me a package today. I opened it was pleasently surprised to find a Wedding Emergency Kit. It has just about everything I will need in it for my wedding day oopses. It was so sweet! It really brightened my day up.

Well I am feeling sick again, so its time to be done on here for now. I will post a photo later. Maybe.

I cant sleep

So I went to the Dr. today and I swear to god I am worse than I was. Not to be to graphic but it feels like I have a full bladder but can only pee a drop. Stupid bladder spasms! I had to start taking my pain pills again too. I just feel sickly. I just want this stupid shit to be done and over. I cant even go to sleep cause I feel like I have to pee. This just sucks.

I still am hating on the fiance as well. He just pisses me off to no end. I am not sure when I will be over it, but for the time being he is on the couch. Slept there last night too. I hope it sucked.

I just hope the percocet kicks in here soon and I can relax and get some sleep. I am sooo sleeping in tomorrow. I even turned my phone ringer to low.

Oh and I am not putting a pic up with this post, I do not have any photos to go with this kind of message. Ok more tomorrow, I think I feel the percocet effect :o)

I am gonna try something new....

So I have decided to try and post every day, and along with my post I am going to try and put up a photo. I have so many photos that need to be shown and they just sit sadly stored away on my computer. Its tragic. So for my first official picture and post here is a photo of my daughter Riley.

She will be 3 in a few days, well the 25th. I took this picture in December while we were visiting Spokane. We were staying in a hotel and the second she got in there she stripped down naked and put on my furry hoody. She looked so darn cute I had to snap a photo. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I do.

Wow this is actually kinda fun! Its a stress reliever to, I may post a few more photos tonight ;o)

Good Morning

Well I am up early. Today I am not as grumpy as last night. I am still grumpy though. I am going to try and get over it, but I still dont even want to look at my fiance.
I have a Dr. appointment today. I dont have any idea what they are doing. I am pretty much dredding it. I also have to go and and pick up my job application and fill it out so I can hopefully start working. I dont know how much I will be able to work since I have to have surgery again on the 26th. I am really hoping to get a couple days in though, I really want to move into that house. Oh... I didnt tell you about the house...

I may have mentioned our neighbores recently moved out. Well they did, and it got me to thinking about moving. I got the itch to do it so I started looking for places on CL. We found a couple and went to look and one was nice but pretty far out of town, the other was a huge dump and extremely far out of town. Then I got an email from a guy who had a place for rent, he left the address so we decided to run by and...

IT WAS AMAZING!!

I instantly wanted it.

It is a brand new house, only a year old, in a very nice housing complex just 6 miles from town. I have not seen the inside but the description is- black granit counter tops, Tuscan tile in the entry way, thick brown carpet throughout the house, fenced back yard, 2 car garage... the outside is beautiful too. It is a deep red color and has a wonderful landscaped yard. It is pretty much my dream home! Oh it also has 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and is 1550sqf. Well anyways, I told the guy we liked it, but I was worried because it was $900 a month and he wanted first last and a deposit but he said we could have our pets there so I figured it was worth a try anyways. He said he would take a $300 deposit, and he would even hold the house for us for a month (we were worried our landlord now would be grouchy with us when we asked to move since he was with the neighbors) so now we only have the problem of the $1800 and talking with Don about moving. We decided we would take a chance and just mention it to Don, I mean after all its not like we were ever planning on staying here forever. Well he ended up taking it very well, he was totaly fine with it and said we would be stupid if we didnt do it since it was a lot bigger and we needed the room. So now that thats out of our way all we have is the issue with the $1800 to move in. Hopefully both of us will get our income taxes back right around the 1st and we can do it. I want this soooo bad! I have to meet with the guy on Monday to see the inside and talk with him about the house. I keep thinking there is going to be some crazy catch that will keep us from getting this house, I am just praying there is not. I will keep you posted.

Well I should get off of here, I need to take a shower and start to get ready. Not to mention I just let me dogs back in and I smell some odor that is not appealing. I may need to give them all baths....

It's been a bad day

Today has been a shitty day...

I am in a super bad mood....

It all started because of my fiance. God he can be such a dick sometimes! I am not going to go into details because it will take this entire page and over an hour, but I could honestly have killed him tonight. He just never knows when to shut up! I am sure there are plenty of women out there who have men just like him. If he is sick I better be catering to his every whim and making sure he is comfortable because he is a whiny bastard. Heaven forbid I get sick. Like I may have mentioned I am dealing with kidney stones. He has stomped around the house for 3 days acting like an ass. Even though I have felt like crap I got up and cooked a nice dinner last night, and all week I have set out what should be cooked. Tonight he blows up and actually calls me lazy because I didnt vacuum! I was so mad. I slapped him. There is more to this but he is just a horrible baby. I cant wait till he is sick again so I can call him names and make him feel like a jerk.

Today was just a huge rotten pile of crap on my porch.

I am sure I will get over it, I think I will give it a day or so and let him twist in the wind. I know he feels like shit now that he knows what a jerk he was.

Good.

I like to see him suffer.

Brought the New Year in with a bang

So I got home today... from the hospital! Two nights ago we were up late keeping an eye on the flood news since the news said the river right next to us was going to flood. When we finally decided to go to bed around 1am my side hurt a bit, now I knew I was having some sort of kidney infection, but I was drinking plenty of water and cranberry juice, not to mention sucking down the cranberry pills. Anyways, hopped into bed only to wake up at 2am in so much pain I thought I was going to die. Of course I had no idea what was going on, but I woke Andy up and told him he needed to take me to the E.R. So he got up and took me all the way to Olympia because all the roads to our hospital were closed down due to flooding. Well I had to sit in the waiting room for almost 3 hours, and when they finally took me back to the room I was about to die. I had been puking my guts out since the pain started and it was not getting any better. To make a long story short they found a 8mm (frigging HUGE) kidney stone in my left kidney and a horrible infection from it. So I had to have emergency surgery and got to spend a couple days in the hospital. The didn't even do anything for me really except to put a tube in to hold my urethra open. They had to push the stone back in because it would have made my situation a lot worse if they had tried to pull it out. So now I have to go to the doctor again in a week and they are going to hit me with sound waves to break up the stones, and then I have to try and pass them. Once they are out then I have to have another surgery to get the tubes taken out. Wonderful, I know. Anyways, I am pretty much in pain even with the drugs they gave me, so I am kicking in my room for awhile just watching a movie. I am super tired so I think I may sign off for now. Hopefully I will not hurt as bad tomorrow.

It may flood...

So it snowed a record amount here this month, and it rarely snows here. Now all the snow has melted and it has been raining like crazy here. Now we have a flood warning for our area again. We flooded last year, well not our house, but everything around us. Our area was declared a natural disaster area even. I am not really worried about our place flooding, I dont think we are in any danger because of where we sit, but I am still pissy about the thought of it flooding again. We could not go anywhere because the freeway and roads were all shut down. Oh well....

In other news I am seriously looking for a new job because I really want to move to a new place. Our neighbors are moving out this month. I was not exactly super friendly with them or anything, but they were good neighbors and Riley liked playing with her girls. I did have some fun hanging out with her as well. I would have liked to move into her place as it is bigger than the one we live in now, but it is still a trailor (which sucks). The landlord which happens to be Andy's uncle just found out she was moving yesterday and of course today when we called him he had already rented it. He said he would try and get us in there, but I am not going to hold my breath on it. He is actually a big jerk and a slumlord. The place we live in has needed a lot of repairs and he either takes forever to do them, or doesnt do them at all. We have even had serious things happen like our septic tank having issues and he took almost two weeks to fix it. Not only was it a hazard to our health, but a huge disgusting pain in the ass. Anyways, I have found the perfect house, of course it is almost double our current rent, but it is 1000 times better and not to mention bigger. Of course right now I am not working, I could be very soon though and I am pretty confident I could make at least $1000 a month. That would cover the rent completely. The main problem right now is the fact that Andy's car needs new tires and some brake work before he can drive it, so he has been using my car to go to work in. Once he gets his income tax this next month he can fix his car so he can use it and then I can go to work. I am not going to hold my breath on moving since I know its the last thing that Andy wants to do right now, but I want a new place, a nice place, a place where I am not embarassed to have quests come over, a place that we can have family visit and they wont have to sleep on the couch or in the middle of the living room on an air mattress. I guess we will see what happens. I am hoping the lady calls me tommorrow so we can talk, and then hopefully they will pick us to rent their home. Well off I go, hopefull this rain lets up and we dont flood....

Home again Home again

Ohhh what a pretty color :o) Thought I would try out some new stuff on here lol.
Well we are back home now after our two week Christmas Vacation. It was nice to see family, but it sure was a long time away from our own home. We made it home in 7 hours, which is two hours later than our usual time. We had to borrow the car top carrier my parents had to bring home all of Riley's loot. It is rediculous how much stuff she got for Christmas, and also her birthday. We had an early party for her over there so everyone could celebrate. It was a lot of fun though. Anyways, we got to Olympia just as it started to snow and we just barely got the car unloaded in time to get 1 inch of snow! It probably will not stick but it sure makes it cold here. Tomorrow will be a fun day, I have to clean the entire house. Its really gross. At least I will stay warm lol.

So now the holidays are over and I need to really get back to budgeting and wedding planning. I am just glad I got the venue booked before this next weekend and the bridal show. Thats when all the crazy brides will be scrabbling around for a place. I am also waiting for a contract to come either tomorrow or the next day for our photographer. You know, I just love Craigslist! What a wealth of usefulness. I found a photographer who is amazing but just starting out, and she works with a second person so I will get two for the price of one and both are really good! I just love the fact that you place an add for what you want, how much you want to pay and you get tons of responses. I really think I am going to be using CL for a bunch of my wedding stuff to cut costs. Once I get the photographer booked I dont have any idea what I will need to do next. I guess line up where I will be renting my chairs from.... I will have to contact my MOH and see since she is still up on the wedding stuff.

Great start to 2009

Well it is officially 2009 and we have 7 months until the wedding. Things have actually started out very well this year. My parents finally gave me a wedding budget of $2,000. I had originally talked with them about doing the entire wedding for $5,000 but they had different thoughts, so now I have to figure out how to do everything I want for a lot less. They did also pay for the venue, so I am very grateful for that. So far I think I may be able to do the things I want and only have to spend around $500 out of my own pocket which would be GREAT.
I had wanted to use a specific photographer but I would have lost half my budget by going with him, so I decided to do some looking around for someone just as good, but for less. I had excellent luck! I posted an add on Craigslist.org and had so many responses I could barely keep up. I was think we have found the perfect one, well actually two. The gal is younger, but she teams up with a friend who owns her own photography business and we get two for the price of one. Both of their work is amazing! Not to mention I told her of our small budget and she not only agreed to do exactly what we wanted for $700, but then came back and said she would take another $100 off of that and not charge for mileage little or the editing time! I have not booked her yet but only because I just got the email and its after 1am lol.
I also went and talked with Andy's aunt Kathy who owns a flower shop. I was not planning on using real flowers but I really wanted to after I saw how dull the fake flowers looked in photos. I was hoping for a little "family" discount but she blew me away when she said she would order whatever I wanted at cost, and if I wanted her to help me do them she would just close her shop down one evening and we could get in there and get it done. She said we will most definitely be able to get all the flowers I want for $200 or under. I was so shocked she gave me that great of a deal, but I was really happy!!
Things are just coming right a long which makes me feel a lot better, and take a bunch of stress off. Anyways....
Tomorrow we are having Riley's 3rd birthday party here. It is early but we are going home and everyone here wanted to do something for her birthday. It should be fun, I am excited. I just hope the weather is decent. It was ok and then it snowed about 4 inches last night so the roads were pretty bad. I have to drive to town to pick up her cake in the morning so I hope its nice so I can get there and back quickly and safely.
Ok well I am going to sign off for tonight. I am still a bit ill from my activities last night so I need some sleep.